


A new beginning

by MeNemNesa



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Sibling Incest, Wedding Night, pre game of thrones
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-11 20:17:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5640526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MeNemNesa/pseuds/MeNemNesa
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Cersei's wedding day and she is doing her best to make this the happiest day of her life. Her new husband and brother are not being particularly helpful though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A new beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Here it is, the first story of the short story challenge. If you have any suggestions or feedback don't hesitate please. And enjoy.

Cersei’s cheeks hurt from smiling the entire day, she hadn’t been able to stop. She had been sure that today was the start of something wonderful, her reign, her life. She would go down in history as the most beloved queen, most beloved by her people and her husband. But now while she was brushing the tangles out of her hair tears were threatening to fall. She wouldn’t let them though, queens were strong. Crying was for children, she was the mother of her people now, she was supposed to do the comforting, not needing it. She got up and headed to the window staring up to the stars. She marveled at the darkness and how it reflected her feelings now, as the bright, cloudless sky had done this morning. 

 

She looked at the warming sun before looking down the steps at the small folk who were calling her name. She turned to look at her husband and took his hand, pulling him out of the shadows of the sept. The crowd cheered and with a chuckle Robert leaned in and whispered in her ear “We’d better give them what they want.” And with that he pressed a kiss to her cheek. The people were extatic, though cersei hardly heard it. She was captivated by her husband, his strong, rough hand still in hers. She was completely and utterly in love, how could she not be? Every girl in the kingdom wanted to marry this man, this hero, and she just had. He was everything anyone wanted in a man, he was handsome, charming, strong. She could not remember ever being happier, except that time in the gardens with Jaime, or when she convinced him to join the kingsguard or… Stop! She shook her head to rid herself of these impure thoughts. She almost looked around guiltily to make sure no one had noticed, but stopped herself, her thoughts were her own. She felt her fears ebbing away until a pair of green eyes caught hers. She quickly turned back to her husband and pulled his face to hers and pecked his lips. Robert was cracking jokes about her eagerness and everyone was laughing, everyone but the owner of those eyes. She could almost see him from the corner of her eyes. She couldn’t resist looking at him, but she immediately wished she hadn’t. Those green eyes clearly said I know what you were thinking and I hate you for it. For a second the guilt came back, though for a different reason, but it was soon overtaken by anger. Who was Jaime to ruin this day for her? This was supposed to be the happiest day of her life and he was ruining it for her. She would not let him though, this day was going to be perfect if she had anything to say about it.

 

At dinner she sat down next to her husband who took a flask and poured her a goblet of whine before putting it to his lips and draining it. She stared at him in astonishment, at this rate they would be out of whine before the second course. Her astonishment turned into annoyance when he slammed it down and let out a loud burp. She looked at the guard at his side, feeling even more annoyed when she saw her own face back reflected on it, with the notable difference that his wore a smug smirk. What was he so chuffed about? But she knew what it was. That made her even angrier. He was determined to ruin this perfect day, and just like this morning her determination to make sure he wouldn’t made her take charge. She would show him. She almost opened her mouth to snap at Jaime, but decided the less attention he got the better. So she turned to reprimand Robert when she remembered what her septa had told her once.  _ “Proper ladies don’t nag, they subtly nudge their husbands to get what they want, because men hate nagging wives.” _ She was a proper lady, she could nudge like the best of them. Of course her husband was going to celebrate, after all this was the best day of  _ his _ life as well, it was her duty to take care of him. She turned her attention to a server and told him it was outrageous that the king had to pour his own drink. She demanded a server to do it, and to make sure he didn’t drink more than three glasses per course or else the guests may think it rude.

Just as she was done talking Robert grasped her hand and tugged on it, demanding her attention. 

 

The food was amazing, the servers were prompt, the singers were excellent, it truly was a royal wedding feast. People came up to her and Robert congratulating them, complimenting them for the amazing wedding and offering all kinds of wonderful gifts. Cersei smiled and thanked them, but Robert truly was the main attraction. He seemed to know all the people who came by and talked to every single one. Cersei did notice that he hardly ever said anyone’s name, nor were the things they talked about that substantial, but they all left their table absolutely elated. She felt proud to have such an amazing husband, deep down though she also felt a little jealous. She wanted to be able to do this as well. She observed her husband with every interaction, but in the end she had to admit she had no idea what it was that made him so charming, it seemed to be something entirely Robert. She was sure his looks had something to do with it, just as his status of king and the fact that he was a hero of the rebellion, but that was not all. After all she was now a queen, she knew she was at least as beautiful as he was handsome, and she could charm almost any man and probably some women too. To get people to love her like Robert did with one conversation though she couldn’t do that, it was far out of her reach.

 

The bedding ceremony was not too horrible. The first part at least was bearable. The men were crude, as was expected. She was thankful for the presence of two members of the Kingsbury, even if one was her brother. Their presence made sure that no one dared to grope her too much while getting her undressed. They tossed her on the bed and with a few more jokes and claps on Robert’s back they left. The guards both nodded to her and Robert, saying they’d be right outside, closing the door as they left. Cersei watched helplessly as Jaime headed to his post. He’d be standing right outside, hearing her and Robert, he’d be standing there judging her. He had no right to judge her, what did he expect? That they would get married? That she would be alone for the rest of her life? That she’d become a septa? That was ridculous, she was Cersei Lannister, the light of the West, of course she would become queen, and for that she needed a husband, a king. How dare he make her feel guilty for getting married, for bedding her husband. He had no right. Despite her best efforts to get angry again to call back the outrage she had felt this morning, all she felt was guilt and loss, she missed him already and this was only the very first day of the rest of her life. Before she could dwell on it too long she felt a pair of lips on her shoulder that moved up her neck, his tongue tracing a path as he pulled her back and pushed her down on the bed. He leaned over her and pressed his lips to hers, she opened her mouth and accepted his tongue, expecting the blissful sensation of warmth and a kind of giddy happiness to spread through her that had always happened when she kissed. It didn’t happen, all she could think was that his weight on her was too much to be comfortable, his breath smelled too much like whine and his rough hands were grabbing her with too much strength, if he kept this up she was going to bruise. She let it go on for a bit, staring up at the ceiling wondering if this was how it was going to be, while Robert sounded like he was enjoying himself. Soon she had enough though, this wasn’t fair to her husband or to herself, she had to try and do her best. It took two to make these things work, she could do this, she was a good lover and she could be a good wife. Cersei placed her hands on her husbands chest and pushed him up, stradling his hips, grabbing his face and kissing him passionately. And apparently that was all it took, she just needed to be a little more forceful. Not that it was amazing, deffinitely not, she knew amazing and this wasn’t it, but it was decent enough. She smiled, letting out all the sounds she knew men liked as she stared up into her husband’s blue eyes. Eyes that were filled with an intense hunger, the hunger she was more than familiar with seeing above her. It was the kind of hunger that made her feel powerful, knowing that she was doing this. It was one of the things that were important, of course love was too. But how could she and Robert love each other now? They hardly knew each other. Of course she loved him, but it was a young love, she couldn’t wait until it would be the love a king and queen deserved to have, that their realm deserved to have, strong, unwavering and intense. 

 

Just as she was thinking of their love Robert seemed to be nearing his climax, his movements had become even rougher and his groans louder. His fingers dug in her hips as he pushed one last time and with a ‘Lyanna’ he collapsed on top of her, unconcious. Cersei just lay there, covered by Roberts body, horrified, trying to convince herself that she had misheard. He hadn’t said Lyanna, he had said her name, he had to have said Cersei. It was no use though, she knew better. He hadn’t said her name, he hadn’t even seen her, the hunger, the love, the kindness he had shown her today it was all for  _ her _ . She had never felt so lonely. She had lost the one person that made sure she never felt alone, and for what? For a husband who loved a corpse more than her. She tried to push him off her, she couldn’t breathe, she needed to breathe, she needed air, she needed Jaime. She had already opened her mouth to call him when she realised she couldn’t. She couldn’t call her brother, he couldn’t help her now. She was married and he was not her husband. Robert would be the one to comfort her now, but who would comfort her if t was him that hurt her? She bit down on her lip and clenched her hands into fists, stomping against Robert’s shoulders. He grumbled in his drunken stupor and rolled off her, continuing his snoring. She got up, sitting down in front of the mirror and started brushing her hair. 

  
She opened the door, seeing ser Barristan. He tried to stop her from wandering though the castle, but he wasn’t succesful. She was still the queen! If she wanted to wander she would. She knew where she would go, a place where she would be as lonely as she felt, the small weirwood of the red keep, no one ever went there. As she was heading down she encountered another member of the kingsguard, the one she had dreaded and longed most to see. “Jaime” she whispered before she ran in to him, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in his neck. His arms automatically enveloped her, one around her waist, the other in her hair. “Cersei?” he sounded confused, but he wasn't demanding any answers. Besides she couldn’t give him any, not now, not while she was working so hard to keep her tears at bay. “Come.” He pulled her with him, tucking her body under his arm. She had no idea where he was taking her, all thoughts and worries of people seeing them together had left her as soon as she touched him, she felt safe, she felt home with him. When she resurfaced she felt a soft breeze on her skin, grass under her feet, and when she looked around she saw a very old tree, with a face and red, almost bloody eyes. “The weirwood?” She asked quietly. “Yes,” he shrugged “I figured no one would overhear or see us here. I can bring you back if you want.” She heard the bitterness had returned to his voice, that hurt her almost as much as what Robert had said. “No, I like it.” She sat down, wrapping her arms around her knees and resting her chin on top of them. “What do I do now?” she wondered out loud. “What?” Jaime snapped, “What are you talking about?” Cersei looked up and laughed bitterly. “My life of course, what am I supposed to do with my life?” Jaime sighed with exasperation “Wasn’t the plan to give birth to a lot of children, to rule the realm with a firm but rightful hand and make yourself immortal as the best queen that has ever lived?” He threw what she had said to him back in her face, he probably thought she deserved it. She disagreed though, their relationship was stupid and dangerous and it woulf have been safer for both of them if they could have stopped. But how could they stop? It had been so hard to not think of her moments with Jaime, the happiest of her life, when she was actually happily married. Now that she was utterly lost and dissapointed how was she going to say no to her salvation from this miserable world? She wasn’t worried about Jaime not wanting her anymore. Jaime loved her as much as she loved him, maybe even more, his bitterness showed this as much as all their wonderful moments. “Yes, that was my plan, to rule as king and queen. Sadly, it seems my dear husband has those plans with someone else.” She felt Jaimes body lowering himself next to her and instantly she leaned into him. She looked up at him. Jaime was staring at her, demanding more information. “You two sounded on the same page an hour ago though.” He muttered acidly. A derisive laugh left her lips. “We weren’t even in the same library. He called me Lyanna! Even on his wedding day that miserable dead Stark girl is more important than his queen, his wife.” She looked up in those green eyes, leaning in she thought she could almost see the golden flecks, though it was much too dark to really see anything like that. “What am I supposed to do now?” She placed her hand on Jaime’s chest, willing the anger to leave his face. “I am married to a man who loves another, and I love another as well.” She saw his eyes widening, he hadn’t expected her to change her mind, after all it was deffinitely not something she was prone to doing. He opened his mouth to say something but she pulled him to her by the collar of his shirt, pressing his lips to hers. She needed his lips, his touch, his love to heal the ugly wounds Robert had left on her soul. As soon as those lips touched hers she felt what she should have felt with him, the warmth, the love, the intensity. How could this be wrong if it felt so right? Their kiss was passionate and hungry, they needed each other. “You have no idea how hard it was to not think of you today.” She breathed against his lips, her hand cupping his cheek. “You infuriate me. You have ruined me for all other men.” Now it was Jaime’s turn to laugh derisively, he pulled back, “Right back at you. I should tell you to stop. That we shouldn’t do this, we could have a new beginning, a relationship as siblings. And isn't that much healthier?” Cersei stared at him in horror, whispering with more conviction than she may have felt at that moment. “You wouldn’t.” Jaime grasped his golden locks and pulled in frustration before shaking his head. “I should, but I won’t, I can’t, not with you.” Cersei leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder, taking his hand and intertwining their fingers. “So a not so new beginning for us then, in the red keep.”


End file.
